Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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