We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
