she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
