You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
