I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
no you cant smoke seaweed
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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