she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
