pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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