she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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