so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
