Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
