Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
God I need to hump something, right now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
