She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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