so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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