i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
3 2 1 whiskey
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
