So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
