I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
