Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
