Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
