Soap is not a condiment
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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