..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize