i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You are a genius and a whore.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
