Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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