and you said cock pushups were impossible
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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