I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
