she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
