This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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