Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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