I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
