Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
