I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
