Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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