Who did Billy Mays play for?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
