Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
