somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
