1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
