well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
