I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
