So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
