Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
