i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
