There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
