That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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