Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
