Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
