This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
