Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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