upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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