Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
