Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
