We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize