the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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