I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
