forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
