yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
