WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
