i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize