I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize