Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
time to smoke my breakfast
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
