My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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