Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
