Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
