we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
