thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
