Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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