i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
