Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
