3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
