Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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