maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
